Something Fun: The Story of the Spatula

The world seems pretty intense nowadays. It’s probably not more intense than it was, but the dynamics of the internet makes it seem like it is…  So I thought I’d share a little story, something ridiculous.

The backstory: In August this year, presented at a conference at Ripon College, Oxford. Traveling from Sydney, Australia to anywhere and back isn’t cheap, but England is very expensive. I got partial funding which was a blessing, and told myself a long story of how I’d make up the rest. But in the months leading up to this trip, most things I did failed. in epic proportion.

… A number of churches cancelled their events in which I was singing or speaking;
a) because I was a woman, as if the realization had come upon them with sudden surprise
b)  because I may have Catholic friends, and
c) because “God doesn’t want you to come.”
That last one was pretty frustrating – God seemed fine before I bought the European flight. Don’t you love when someone gives you an unsolicited “word from God” that feels like a punch in the guts?  I placed such messages from well-meaning but slightly-psychotic pentecostals next to encouragement to go from people I know and trust. And I still had a conference paper to write. Ah it was a mess.

Of course, the end of this story is that I had an amazing time, and I got to meet up in Paris with my best friend, and enjoy a beautiful time in Sicily.

In the middle though…. no. Not so amazing. And just when I thought the ‘worst’ had all been dealt, I got an email saying that funding was denied for a project I’d wrapped my little heart around. Ouch.

Tim happened to call in the middle of that moment, and I didn’t say much. But clearly he knew it was serious from my tone. And, twenty minutes later he called back to say that he was starting a reality tv show. He said it was “from the objects of the second drawer” (probably inspired by naughty Irish-Australian comedian Jimeon). And so, ‘The Spatula’ was born. Through adversity comes great triumph. 

I warned you, it’s ridiculous. It’s called “The Spatula”.


Here is “The Spatula” trailer. Each video is 2-3 minutes long, so I thought I’d post it here and you can catch up. Perfect Saturday viewing.

The show centres on a blue Spatula, who is single and looking for love, and is hosted by Burt Butterspoon. We meet him here:

In episode 1, we’re introduced to those contending for our bachelor Spatula’s heart. They have their questions for each other, and we get to know some of their personalities and the reasons they’ve come onto the show:

In episode 2, the utensils go on their first dates. Watching Star Wars, jenny the juicer fills him in on the state of her heart. Grace the garlic press uses the flying fox for the first time. And our Spatula spends time with Mary the Mallet(?):

The first elimination shows Pauline the Peeler, Grace the Garlic Press and jenny the juicer in the final three. We find out who goes home first:

In Episode 4 “Who left this jelly here?”, the remaining utensils in the house release some of the tension. Winnie the Whisk finds herself by a bowl full of jelly. It’s obvious what happens next… or is it? :

In Episode 5, the girls take the Spatula out! Pauline the Peeler decides to introduce the Spatula to coleslaw-making, with a special appearance from Gary the Grater:

This leads into another elimination round. Here, Burt the Butterspoon introduces a twist in the show. Instead of an elimination… two girls are going to Los Angeles!

So, the Spatula and two girls head to Los Angeles and have fun in the pool, and in cafes around Orange County (bizarrely, this actually happened. I travelled with Tim and a spatula, garlic press and whisk around cafes in LA/OC):

Winnie the Whisk has a “strategy” for winning The Spatula’s heart that unfolds during episode 8 while Grace and The Spatula are watching a movie together (while I was doing my comps exams in Pasadena):

In Episode 9, Winnie’s plan is unveiled, proving she is the craziest of the girls in the house:

People literally ring me now to talk about The Spatula. It’s weird. Anyways, but soon there’s a twist coming. That’s all I’ll say, but it developed after we visited Tim’s mum’s house in Bowral, in the Southern Highlands of Australia.

Maybe the Spatula is a good example of how humanity will prevail again. Or maybe, it’s just ridiculous. You can tell me how you go, lol.


(Ooh! and if you love it as much as I do, then make sure to press the ‘thumbs up’ sign or comment on the video so Tim gets your feedback!)

4 thoughts on “Something Fun: The Story of the Spatula

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